The Worst 20(20) New Year’s Resolutions PDS Students Can Make

All Images Courtesy of Osho News, Bulldog Bark, Liz Marino Rug Hooking, and the Rampage

All Images Courtesy of Osho News, Bulldog Bark, Liz Marino Rug Hooking, and the Rampage

Katie Jain, Online Editor in Chief

Choosing a New Year’s resolution is hard; there’s a lot of pressure to pick exactly the right goal for the year (and in this case the decade!). But fear not, this year the Spokesman has come to the rescue with the 20best” (worst) resolutions the PDS community can choose. 

  1. Pull off a “perfect cycle” by falling asleep once in every class over the course of a single cycle

  2. Shower only once per week the entire year 

  3. Order a box of pizza and eat the entire thing during early lunch in the middle of the hallway

  4. Bring your dog to school 

  5. Abide by the dress code 

  6. Grow abs and then lose them

  7. Shave your head 

  8. Wear rompers on every holiday

  9. Get kicked out of the upper school library for being too loud

  10. Visit judiciary (just to see what it’s like, of course) 

  11. Raise your hand in every Harkness Discussion

  12. Order Panera and never pick up your food

  13. Go out to lunch with senior privileges but never sign back in

  14. Walk into Mr. McKinley’s class with six hats on your head

  15. Join MUN and post a picture of your gavel on Instagram

  16. Revive Free the Children

  17. Show up to the PDS Lawrenceville hockey game decked out in Hill gear

  18. Get mono and secretly spit in as many people’s drinks as possible

  19. Buy a vape as a gift for Dr. Shah

  20. Post to the lost and found schoology group every day

BONUS: Write for the Spokesman! Application links are below

NOTE: All of the above were written solely for satirical purposes and were not meant to offend, generalize, or hurt anyone’s feelings. We at the Spokesman do not recommend you do any of these activities (with the exception of the bonus)
LINKS TO APPLY TO THE SPOKESMAN (deadline is 1/8/20)
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