The Artifacts of PDS Lost and Found

Courtesy+of+PDS

Courtesy of PDS

Nikita Bhardwaj, Staff Writer

Plastic Tub

This plastic container is transparent and has been lightly used. Its contents include one sheet of crumpled up wax paper and some questionable brown crumbs. From the evidence gathered at the crime scene, it could be determined that this tub once held Oreos. However, the past owner of this container brutally massacred and devoured every last one of the Oreos in question, not leaving a single one for any stalkers going through other people’s stuff in the lost and found. Since “sharing is caring” is a favored motto at PDS, it is crucial that an investigation is made into the selfish owner of this Tupperware container. Not only did he or she violate one of PDS’s most valued rules, but there were also no Oreos left to consume upon discovery.

Courtesy of PDS

Unfinished Coloring Picture

This partially completed coloring sheet depicts the back of a girl with a white bird on her head. The picture was carefully colored in, but left unfinished, presumably because the owner lost it. The white dove perched on the subject’s ebony hair alludes to the contrast of dark to light, just as Shakespeare does in Romeo and Juliet. Romeo describes Juliet’s beauty, “Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear. So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows” (1.5.44-45). He is heavily implying that other women look like crows when compared to Juliet’s beauty, and that Juliet is a beacon of light and beauty in a sea of dark. Based on these facts, the owner of this coloring page is most definitely a ninth grade english teacher, because of the complicated conveyed themes that relate to Romeo and Juliet, a required reading for all students in English IX.

 

Courtesy of PDS

Blue Backpack

“Save money. Live better.” We are all familiar with the popular food store, Walmart, and its famous slogan, as well as its color theme: electric blue. But could anyone have known that a spy was lurking in the halls? An undercover Walmart employee, hidden right under our noses. “Prove it!” one might say. Well, in the lost and found, there exists an electric blue backpack. Electric blue also happens to be the color theme of Walmart. Coincidence? I think not. Clearly, this backpack belongs to a Walmart employee who doubles as an undercover agent at PDS, whose mission is to carry out Walmart’s secret agenda without being discovered. So, remember, if you know anyone with an electric blue backpack, do not hesitate to call them out for who they really are.

 

Courtesy of PDS

Water Bottle

Usually, seeing a water bottle in the lost and found wouldn’t exactly be a surprising occurrence. However, this particular bottle tells quite the interesting story. The substance this bottle is made of is apparently of no earthly origin. Scientists have traced this material back to the planet Mars, confirming the popular theory that there is life on the planet. Not only is PDS at the center of this brilliant scientific breakthrough, but the alien also attends this fine school, which is SWELLa magnificent honor! So if you see any of your peers carrying a water bottle of this type, you know that they’re an alien from Mars.

 

Courtesy of PDS

 

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