Two First Dogs, one Election: a screenplay

Daniel Tang, Staff Writer

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SUNNY

Hey Bo! The light box is on again!

BO

Is it showing the food? I love the food. I want some food.

SUNNY

No. [rolling eyes] And for once in your life, stop being hungry.

BO

But I like eating- [getting distracted] SQUIRREL!

SUNNY

[sitting up quickly] OH MY GOD, A FLIPPIN’ SQUIRREL!


BO

Why is it sitting on that orange guy’s head?

SUNNY

I don’t know, [sighing, sadly] but I really want to chase it.

BO

[excited, wagging tail] Race you!

SUNNY

[rolling eyes] “No! we already established that you cannot-”

BO

[hits television screen] “Ow!”

SUNNY

[sighing]  -catch squirrels in the light box.

BO

[disgruntled] I just wanted the squirrel…

SUNNY

But look, [pointing paw at screen] the orange guy is still there and is still shaking his hands! How is the squirrel still up there?

BO

Maybe the squirrel lives in his head, and the tail is the thing that sticks out? [in wonder] He moves his hands so much he has to be nuts!

SUNNY

Yeah, I guess I see it. He also keeps saying that word that the humans say when we play with the papers on the desks.

BO

Paper is way more fun to play with when we find it in the stacks.

SUNNY

[happily] The papers with the big red words on them are the best.

BO

But look at the light box! [pointing] Granny is in the box!

SUNNY

Since when does a human look like one of us? Although, if you look sideways, she does look a bit like Granny — except a little more scary.

BO

Humans are just generally scary-looking; they look like naked mole rats. They must get so cold without any fur!

SUNNY

Unless ‘global warming’ happens, right?

[Both dogs start barking at each other. It roughly translates to “hahahahahahahahahaha!”]

BO

[snorts] Yeah, that’s all a hoax.